Face your fears
-
4People who lack confidence avoid or run away from their fears; they try not to depart their comfort zones. Self-confident people learn to swim by jumping in the water, or deal with a fear of heights by skydiving. Get out of your comfort zone, and when you achieve success doing so, use it as evidence in your confidence-building process.[19]- Identify your goals, and establish a way to address them head-on. If you are afraid to speak up at meetings, draw up a list of potential questions or comments beforehand, and make yourself use at least one of them.
Community Q&A
-
What if I am looked down upon when it comes to capabilities?wikiHow ContributorYou shouldn’t tell lies about what you can do. Try to work on improving whatever your weak points are. For school work, study more; for art, be more detailed; for music, be more dedicated and bold. If you’re physically weak, you should work out more. Don’t try to be something you’re not; work hard and have faith in yourself.
-
How can I get authority over people who dislike me?wikiHow ContributorYou can get authority over people who dislike you in two ways: 1. Working to befriend those people so that they will like you and do as you say. 2. Forcing the authority over them in whatever way is available for you (threats, consequences, punishment, etc.).
Look the part.
3
Looking authoritative and looking confident have many similarities, but you can’t really master the former without first nailing the latter. It may seem naive to think that looking confident can make you feel more confident, and yet it is true for many people.[18]
- Practice good posture. Take your personal grooming and dressing routines seriously. Look in the mirror and see a confident person staring back at you.
Look the part. Looking authoritative and looking confident have many similarities, but you can’t really master the former without first nailing the latter. It may seem naive to think that looking confident can make you feel more confident, and yet it is true for many people.[18]
- Practice good posture. Take your personal grooming and dressing routines seriously. Look in the mirror and see a confident person staring back at you.
Focus on your positives.
2
People with low self-confidence tend to compare themselves to unrealistic idealizations of others, and thereby find themselves always coming up short. Instead of holding yourself to impossible standards and focusing on your failures, work on training yourself to emphasize your successes. Focus on why you deserve to have authority.[17]
- Keep an updated list of personal accomplishments and positive attributes if that helps. Take note of compliments and positive feedback from others (and take them seriously). Surround yourself with positive reinforcement.
Practice your authoritative voice
5
In addition to adding some depth to your voice, finishing off sentences properly, and eliminating “fillers,” you can also work to perfect the tone and pace of your speaking. Speaking too quickly, too softly, or without enthusiasm can all be remedied with practice, and give your words more authority in the process.[16]
- You might feel silly reciting famous speeches from Shakespeare’s works in your bathroom mirror, but doing so can in fact be helpful. Think of yourself as a great actor on the stage, tackling Hamlet or Macbeth. Speaking with authority will come naturally.
- More practically, you can practice the speech you’re going to give in a similar manner. Take note of your tone, pacing, volume, gesturing, and so on. Consider recording yourself so you can examine your practice run.
Claim the stage.
4
Making eye contact and facing the audience have already been mentioned in this article, but there are additional steps you can take to demonstrate command of the room when you are addressing a group of people. You want all eyes on you as much as possible.[15]
- Walk around the stage or the part of the room you are occupying, as if you are marking it as your territory. You don’t need to stalk it like an animal, but walk and stand with confidence — as mentioned, it will be reflected in your voice.
- Don’t be afraid of hand gestures either. Keeping your hands glued to the podium or clasped together may appear like fear or submission. No one needs to see you pound your shoe on the desk or anything of that sort, but some confident, deliberate gesturing will add weight to your words and your appearance.